Will You Fall For Me
by Lexie Jayne
Summary: Jondy contemplates her feelings for Zack. Companion to Too Beautiful


**Title:** Will You Fall for Me?

**Author:** Lexie Jayne

**Feedback:** is beloved.

**Pairing:** Jondy/Zack

**Word Count:** 2 983

**Rating:** PG

**Genre:** Romance, Drama.

**Summary:** Jondy contemplates her feelings for Zack. Companion to _Too Beautiful_

**Notes:** As of November 18, the content of this fic has been altered to comply with TOS, and my own change of alias. If you would like to read the original version – and I highly recommend it - of this fic, please visit Written-Word . Org

Inspired by Delta Goodrem's 'Will You Fall For Me'.

**Spoilers:** Season 1 and 2.

**Warnings:** None.

**Disclaimer:** Dark Angel belongs to James Cameron, and I make no profit from this fan-based venture.

* * *

He's giving me that look again. Glaring at me, like he's going to tell me off. I know the look so well; he's been using it on me since I was nine.

He's incredible. Is it wrong that I've had a crush on him since I was twelve? I mean, is it just lust? We're designed to be good looking, is that all it is? I love looking at him, and I love talking to him; and . . . Yeah, I think I love him.

I freeze in front of him, a glare fixed on my face, one of my hands falling to my hip, the other playing with the end of my hair. I always play with my hair when I'm nervous. It's like a security thing, I think. The rest of my long hair is fluttering gently behind me.

"Zack, you aren't bossing me around here," I say, in a mock-pissed voice. We've been playing this 'game' since I was twelve. He'd get mad at me, or something, and I'd pretend to get mad back.

The truth is, he's really hot when he is mad. Like, really. If he wasn't so Zack-y and all, he could be a stripper, or something.

Oh god, let's pretend I didn't suggest that. . .

I run my fingers through my hair and smirk at him, teasingly. "Max is in charge."

He gives me a tense look. "I'm not bossing you around," he replies shortly.

"You've got that look on your face. The 'I'm-about-to-start-bossing-Jondy-around Look'. Trust me, Zack, I know it well," I said, flipping my hair over my shoulder. He chuckles at me, and I flash him a quick smile before walking away. We didn't always have this easy relationship. It used to be horrible and I used to hate seeing him. He used to get so, so mad at me. He used to hit me and I'd never know what I'd done wrong to deserve it.

I forgave him a long time ago. No point in dwelling on stuff that he's probably long forgotten. I mean, really I've forgotten. I just… remember.

Summer in Terminal City. Certainly not like the lazy summers I spent in Florida. So many Seattle citizens have fled the city, it's far too hot for Ordinaries. But we're stuck here like caged animals, with barely any running water or food. Every so often, one of Max's contacts will smuggle some supplies in here, but nothing extreme.

But so far, it's been such a beautiful summer. Sweltering hot, of course, because of all the chemicals and stuff pumped into the air. We're all relaxed, like I've never seen us. Except Zack.

He looks as tense as usual. I could definitely help him with relaxation issues, if he asked. I know, dirty thoughts and all, but what I wouldn't give to see Zack walk around Terminal City in shirtless. Just the mental image makes me weak at the knees…

I have to stop thinking like this. I can't go around thinking like this. I mean, we've all had a crush on Zack at some point in our lives. Mine just happen to really, really stick.

I banish my thoughts, knowing they'll come back and haunt me tonight, when I'm alone. Or next time I'm in heat. Nothing kills a good heat cycle than lusting after Zack; him being the Alpha male and all that messed up stuff kinda makes all the other guys who accost me seem really… unsatisfying.

Sometimes I wish my brain would shut up.

The rest of my siblings are playing a very disorganized game of soccer, and I join in quite randomly. Boys against girls. So much fun; our aim is deadly, kicks precise and reflexes instant. All the games we've played so far this summer have been nil-all.

I feel Zane's hand lock around my hair and Krit try and trip me up. Alec, Krit and Zane against Max, Syl, Brin and I. Alec, Krit and Zane have already stripped to the waist and I have hope that Zack will do the same, if he chooses to join in. He's been really depressed since he got all his memories back. Maybe because even after everything that happened between him and Max, Max chose Alec over him.

Krit manages to trip me up as I steal the ball from Zane and we both tumble to the ground, my hands gripping his wrists. Playful. I try and get up from under him, but Krit has me pinned. Damnit. I struggle, laughing at him, as the soccer game continues, our bodies being sidestepped by the players.

Finally, I manage to shove Krit off me and struggle to my feet, leaping onto Zane's back just before he shoots. He yells out in surprise. I know he knew I was going to do that. It's a twin thing. The same way, when Zack's in a bad mood, Syl will be all solemn as well. Or when Krit's depressed, it'll effect Max too.

Twin thing. Or else, Manticore was more messed up that I previously thought.

The game slowly ends, Zane letting me slide down from his back. Zane's quite a bit taller than me. I lean against his side for a second, letting him stroke my hair. He know how lonely I am. He knows everything about me.

Before I can dwell on self pity, I pull away from him, smiling. Before he can ask me anything, like I knew he'd want to, Brin comes up and begins kissing him.

I'm effectively forgotten for the moment.

I see Zack watching me. I'm all dusty and sweaty from the game and I can't think of anything to say to him.

Except for, "take me now."

I wonder what it'd be like. Being able to treat Zack like Brin treats Zane or Syl treats Krit.

Doesn't matter, anyway. Even if Zane asks me, I'm not saying anything. What would I say? I think I'm in love with Zack?

We don't stay outside. We go into the Main Hall, where the television and couches and, more importantly, Terminal City's only electronic fan are. Everyone drapes themselves over various pieces of furniture, and I'm left sharing the couch with Zack…

I sit down, trying to wipe the dust off my arms and legs. I turn to Zack, ask I wipe my face with the corner of my top.

"Did I miss any?" I ask. Just a plain question, not with a hidden meaning or anything. Zack looks at me… so intense, I feel myself shiver, even in the heat. He reaches out and runs his hand across my cheek and I'm a quivering mess. I stare into his eyes and just for a second…

I jerk my gaze away. Nope, not happening. He's meant to be my brother.

Zane and Krit are debating the benefits of blue jello and green jello, and which has more additives in it. I really don't want to know what goes on in their twisted minds some days. But I join in, enthusiastically, trying to push all thoughts of Zack, jumping Zack and kissing Zack out of my mind….

But it's hard. Everyone has someone. Syl's in Krit's arms, Alec's cuddling Max and Zane's playing with Brin's hair. I want that.

I sigh and continue to argue with Zane and Krit, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

The jello argument has lost all relevance in my mind and I can see Zane giving me a Look. There'll be an interrogation later, because Zane has this huge protective complex when it comes to me and Brin. Sometimes, it makes me feel better, and other times I wish he didn't care so much.

I wish Zack cared more.

It's the early hours of the morning when I wake up. Before dawn, it's still dark. A lot of Terminal City's residents are still down here, sleeping. Our apartments and such are too hot. Humid and sticky. No air whatsoever.

I blink. Other than Mole and Joshua, who are playing chess in the corner, everyone is asleep. Even I was asleep. Even more surprisingly, I was curled up by Zack's side. His arm around me, his face nuzzling my hair, almost unwittingly. I feel I should wriggle away from him and give him space. Maybe go and visit the Space Needle.

As I start to move, Zack's arm tightens around me, and he kisses my hair, still pretty much asleep. Something in the way he's holding me makes me want to stay. Maybe for a few more hours I can pretend Zack's holding me like Alec's holding Max…

---

Going through the motions. I smile coyly at him, flip my hair and jut my hip out just a little. The little things I do almost unconsciously.

Why? Max got Logan Cale to come here. Her ex or something. For exes, they're still really good friends.

But the second I came over to see what was happening, Logan's eyes lit up. Like I was God's gift to trans-humans. Like I was some sort of angel.

And I played up to it. Because I could. Because if I'm flirting with another man, it'll put Zane off asking too many questions about me and Zack. He was asking this morning If Zack and I had had an argument.

Logan's talking to me. I know his story. I know his and Max's story. They met, they helped each other and Max got shot in the heart. When she came back, she was in love with Alec. Logan's a nice guy. If it weren't for me and my extreme emotional issues with Zack, I'd certainly pursue Logan Cale. Cripple or no cripple.

Maybe I will pursue Logan. Would be nice to be loved.

I can feel Zack's furious gaze on me. I know he hates Logan for getting Max hurt so many times, but Max has moved on. Zack should be hating Alec right about now…

I sigh as Logan leaves, half kicking myself for not asking for a phone number, and half relieved it didn't go any further. Logan's reasonably good looking, well off, smart… but he's not my guy. He's Max's ex. And as cute and sweet as Max might think me sleeping with Logan would be, it makes me feel even more depressed.

Syl's beside me, reaching out to play with my long hair. She smiles gently at me; that's Syl. Since she found out Zack and Max were okay, and hooked up with Krit, she's been all sweetness and light. Just, the inner calm of us all.

"It's okay, Jondy," she says softly.

I looked at her. "What's okay?"

"Telling my brother how you feel." Somehow, her emphasis on "my" makes me feel better. No fooling anyone, Syl and Zack look related. I think Manticore made us X5s in pairs or something.

"No it's not," I said, slumping my shoulders.

Syl gave my hair a sharp tug. "Yes. Yes it is," she said slowly. "Very okay."

I shrug and pull away, looking around for Zack. Zane's saying something to him.

I need air.

It's late afternoon. I managed to get the water running long enough to shower tonight and I came up to read; Zane found a book somewhere and gave it to me. I've borrowed some of the others' clothes, because mine are all filthy. And both my sneakers and combat boots have gone missing, so I'm going barefoot. Not the smartest idea in Terminal City, but I didn't have the energy to find some shoes.

As I stare blankly at the pages of the book, I hear someone move alone the roof. I pull the shirt I borrowed from Krit tightly around myself and wait for them to leave or say something.

"You shouldn't be up here without shoes." I jump in shock. I thought it was Zane looking for me, or someone looking for a place to sit. Not Zack.

I look up at him. "Damn, stop sneaking around, Zack."

He stares at me for a second before shrugging and taking a seat next to me. "You'll cut the soles of your feet on this roof; it's tin. The last thing we need is to use First Aid supplies up on preventable injuries."

I smile; so predictable. Always thinking of injuries, of risks. "I'll be fine, Zack. Thank you for worrying."

He gives me a strange look. "Someone has to."

Maybe Syl's advice made me a bit more daring. Or the sunset just made me feel lonelier, but I rest my head on his shoulder, nuzzling his neck a little. Zack always makes me feel safe. I wonder if anything makes Zack feel safe.

He undoes my hair, and strokes it gently, affectionately. Cats are affectionate creatures after all.

Everything seems so repetitive. Especially down in Main Hall… we have to do things over and over again to get the smallest result. Just to survive. And what happens when summer ends and all the residents come back to Seattle and start their protests again… it might get worse. Bombs. Napalm. All the people I love dying… Just because we're better than the people out there.

"I'm scared, Zack," I say in a soft voice. "Where is all this transgenic stuff going to go? We escaped so we could have a future and once again, we've been imprisoned because of who we are. . ."

"I promise you'll have a future, Jon," Zack says, more tenderly than I've ever heard him talk. "You'll get out of this, fall in love, have a glittering career and have children. I want you to have that."

"Who would fall in love with me?" I ask, feeling slightly pitiful. "I'm nothing but a human-cat-freak." I want to bury my face in Zack's shoulder and cry my eyes out. Self pity rears it's ugly head…

"Everyone falls in love with you, Jon," Zack replied. "You'll find some guy with lots of money, who can give you all that white picket fence crap."

I straightened up. "An Ordinary?" I asked, making sure my voice didn't shake as I turned to look at him. "You want me to end up with an Ordinary?" He didn't even think maybe… him and me…?

"I'd like to get you away from all of this," he replied, motioning out to the view of Terminal City. "You deserve better." Better. Better than what? Better than Manticore? Better than X5? Better than him?

Maybe… maybe Syl was right…

I smiled, ducking my head so my hair fell into my face. "What. . . If the guy I liked was a part of this - and I mean, he was a major part in all of this - would you be too mad?"

Zack shook his head. "I'd like you to leave this behind you, Jon. No guy can be worth it."

I began to blush a little. Ohh, if only he knew…

"You are, Zack."

He turned to look at me, looking shocked. And … hopeful. I reached out, stroking his cheek gently, leaning closer… he wasn't protesting, but staring deeply into my eyes. He's got such incredible eyes. I brushed my lips against his… it's like falling, just indescribable. His arms wrap around my waist and my arms are around his neck and he's kissing me properly, like I've never kissed a man before.

Before I can really get into it (aka, getting rid of those damn jeans Zack's wearing), he pulls away from me.

"Jon…" he says in a low voice as I reach for him again.

I pull back like I've been stung. Oh god… if he says he doesn't…

"What?"

He just looks at me. With this look of awe on his face. "I…"

And I wriggled into his lap, pulling his face to mine. "I know."

There was something really beautiful about making love to Zack on a roof at sunset. It made me feel alive (and I got his pesky jeans off) and life worth being a part of. Zack kissing my neck, my arms running up and down his back, tracing his spine gently. Listening to him moan and murmur sweet nothings in my ear. It was everything I'd been looking for.

We just lay there together, his arms around my body, dozing against my shoulder. I stroked his face and hair as he slept. I never realised how lonely Zack was. Until now. Just the way he held me and touched me…

It was dark when he woke up, obviously shocked he'd fallen asleep.

"We should probably…" I began, winding my arms around his neck as he leant over me.

"…before someone comes and finds us," he nodded, kissing me.

We did get dressed again and we just sat together, watching the night sky. Another week, and Seattle would be back in full force, trying to destroy us and our world…

Zack held me tight, resting his chin on my head.

"Zack?"

"Jon?" he replied.

"Is it always going to be like this?" I asked softly, watching the moon.

"I don't know," Zack pressed a kiss to my temple.

"You'll stay with me, Zack?" I asked, like a little girl needing reassurance.

"I'm not letting you go, Jondy. Ever."

* * *


End file.
